Another One Bites The Dust

So Gwyneth Paltrow and her rockstar husband is separating. Or, to be more precise, they’re into conscious uncoupling.

I feel for Gwyneth. Even though I’m not a fan and I’m still sore about her Oscar win for Shakespeare in Love (yes, I haven’t gotten over that because she bested Meryl Streep in my favorite film ever), there’s a good reason why I can totally empathize: Gwyneth and Chris were an unlikely couple. She met him when she was heartbroken, and he provided the happy distraction that she needed. She uprooted herself from Hollywood to be with him at the other side of the world. And they were exact opposites, but the one thing they had in common was that they made each other laugh. 

I’m no Gwyneth and he’s no Chris, and I’m liable for being the most delusional person in the world for even thinking that there are similarities between our story and theirs, but the bottom line is this: Another unlikely couple I was rooting for ended badly. This provides further evidence that when there’s just too much to overcome in a relationship, something’s gotta give along the way. Which only confirms my theory that love can only do so much. This makes me sad for Gwyneth. And for myself. And for every other girl who longs to believe that  love can conquer all.
 

Blogging Again Just Because....

Im working since 8 in the morning, which makes that a total of 12 hours straight working, need a nap right now but instead, I found myself reading blogs that I haven’t visited for some time. Blogging seems antiquated now, with Twitter and Facebook making it easier to document people’s lives without the requisite writing skills. I know, right? So every time I read those good old blogs, I feel happy. Not just because it connects me again to people whose lives I’ve managed to follow through the years, but also because these are the people who know how to tell stories the way they should be told. I regret that I haven’t been blogging regularly  the way I want to. I believe in what they say that blogging is for The Real Word Lovers— those who write because they love to, regardless of the number of likes or retweets or views. I know a friend who doesn’t allow comments on her blog because she doesn’t care what others think of what she writes. I’d say that’s the real spirit behind blogging. And I do practice the same.

So on this night, when there’s so much work waiting for me, I decided I will just go back to my first love and document my life the old fashioned way. (Yes, blogging is old fashioned now) Here’s my life’s highlights the past few weeks:

1. I turned 32. Which means I’m 8 years away getting 40. Which means my life will finally begin, if that old saying is true. Seriously though, I have no issues about being at this age and being where I am. Life has been good to me. I have a work I truly love, I’m surrounded by people who love me and who have seen me through my worst and have still decided to stay, I’ve had my share of very high ups and very low downs which made me the person I am now, and l remain hopeful that the best is yet to come. So when I said on the eve of my birthday that I’m determined to make my 32nd year the best year of my life so far, it wasn’t because I dreaded turning 40. It’s because I want to prepare for that age when life, they say, takes a serious turn. Truth is, I’m excited to be 40 that I think the only thing that will make me sad about it is finding out that it still feels like being 30. If you know what I mean.  

2. I hiked. It’s the second hike I ever done in my entire life.  The first was when our entire environmental law class was compelled to climb one in order to be exempt from final exams. I had no choice but to go, my total lack of athletic skills notwithstanding. I figured climbing a mountain for 5 hours is a better option than explaining the precautionary principle. Anyway, this time around, I climbed a mountain because I wanted to. Or to be exact, because I wanted to be with the person who wanted to. And what I realised about climbing mountains is that it’s a sure way of getting to know someone really well. It’s a good way of seeing someone’s character. And a sure fire way of testing whether you can live with him forever.  ( To which a friend reacted: Forever agad? Di ba pwedeng Sagada muna next? Haha). As they say, never marry someone you cannot stand being in a long road trip with. My version of that is never marry someone you haven’t climbed a mountain with. Haha! 

3. Work has been overwhelming but fulfilling. As a career person, there’s no greater joy than waking up each morning without feeling lousy about your work. I used to read about people who have found their passion and I used to wonder if that would ever happen to me. I was happy being  an Accountant, no question about that, but there was always that nagging feeling that I ought to be someplace else. Well I’m happy to report that here, right now, is that someplace else. Work is a blessing. And it’s given me so much joy than I can ever imagine. 

4. At the start of the year, I made this vision board: 

 

( See the woman wearing a bridal gown???? )

Well I’m happy to report that barring unforeseen circumstances, I’m about to tick off two of the items on this board, while another one is in progress. When I was younger, I was skeptical about vision boards and the whole shouting-it-out-to-the-universe-to-get-what-you-want approach to life. But I’m seeing as I grow older that the universe really has its way of making things happen. I know it also helps that I’m more open minded now and devoid of any biases. These are the things you only learn when you’re almost 40. Which brings me back to my earlier statement that this could very well be my best year so far.   So to heed the advice given to me by a significant someone on my birthday: Maybe this year, I should aim to climb two mountains. 

Here I Go Again

I was reading my old posts today— the one where I wrote about Ashton and Demi’s break up, and the one where I discussed the evolution of our desires— and I realized that this situation I’m in right now is actually familiar territory. Count on me to choose the more complicated path when it comes to matters of the heart. That. Is. So. Me.

It’s tempting to psycho-analyze myself, but I won’t attempt to do that right now. For now, the only explanation I can muster is that we don’t really get to choose who we love. It just happens. You meet someone, fall for him, discover why he’s awesome, realize the complications, accept them as givens, and fall all over again. The heart wants what it wants— time zone, distance, language barriers, and a host of other complications notwithstanding. In fact, that’s the beauty of love: the uncertainty of whether it will work, the effort it takes to bend over backwards, and the challenge of overcoming the impossible.

But then again, maybe this is just me and my inexplicable desire for complications. After all, some people choose to take the path of least resistance. They meet someone from work, have lunch with them every day, go out on weekends, and before they know it, lapse into marital bliss and eternal boredom. I could’ve done that too, you know? But that wouldn’t be me at all. Because contrary to my claims that I always play it safe and that I’m risk averse, I’m quite the opposite. The truth is, I live for complications. Why? Because I want to prove that love conquers all.

Going back to this boy I like, I realise that the ending could only be one of two things: One, I could be wrong about this; Or two, this could be the greatest love story ever told. Right now, the logical part of me is saying the first scenario is more likely. But just for a shot at happiness and for the pure pleasure of thinking that the second scenario could happen, I let the illogical part of me prevail. And by my standards, if love can trump logic, there’s nothing more that it cannot do.