Love, Marela Style

was listening to an eraserheads playlist as i was making major additions to an affidavit a partner wanted super detailed. i was a big fan of the old songs so most of their newer songs are quite alien to me. being the impatient listener that i am, i'd forward only to the songs i knew but then i got too caught up in writing the affidavit that i didn't realize that the playlist had moved on to songs i didn't know, including the song shirley.

the beat was fun and i sort of paused and actually listened to the lyrics. not satisfied, i googled the actual lyrics.

and then it dawned upon me. several times in the past, this was how exactly love (or some permutation thereof) happened to me.

In love nanaman si Shirley
Sa binatang maganda ang kotse
Sila'y nag-date sa may Antipolo kagabi
Lagi na siyang naka-dress ng eskwela
Nakaayos palagi ang buhok niya
Lumulutang sa ulap pag naglalakad sa kalye
Chorus:
Ganyan main-lab lab lab lab(4x)
Ganyan main-lab
The next week magsyota na sila
Magkaholding hands papunta sa C.A.S.A.A.
Kung maglandian akala mo'y walang katabi
(Repeat chorus)
Instrumental
(repeat chorus)
Bridge:
Ngunit isang araw sa may SM sila'y nagaway
Nagtampuhan may iyakan hanggang sa maubos ang laway
Hiwalay silang umuwi at sila'y nagbreak
After three days nag-ring ang telepono ni Shierly
Si binata ngayo'y nag-sorry ilang minuto na lang
Sila'y mag-on na uli
(Repeat Chorus till fade)

go figure. 

but, past is past and this is me now. hopefully wiser, infinitely more careful, heart guarded with as much energy as i could muster.

then again, maybe not.

This Is How My Boss Won, In One Afternoon My Lifelong Loyalty

today i attended a hearing wearing my brown suit which goes perfectly fine with my ferragamo shoes.

my sweet, beloved ferragamo shoes. my 30th birthday gift to myself. my "what's money in the bank if i can't enjoy it" shoes. the shoes i signed the roll of cpa's with. the shoes that i use to validate myself with on really bad days. one of my favorite pairs of shoes.

i love them so much that if i'm wearing them, commuting is out of the question. these shoes get to ride the car. all the time.

anyway, while we were at the HLRUB it rained buckets so when we got out, we were greeted by a river pretending to be a street. we waited, and waited, and waited for the water to subside but eventually we decided to just go and brave it.

a couple of minutes before braving the flooded street, my boss took a look at my feet and asked, "kaya mo ba?"

being the cowboy that i am, not to mention the fact that i was a bit scared of him, replied, "of course." after all, what's a pair of really expensive shoes compared to creating a good impression.

he then said, "bago ata sapatos mo."

i winced and replied, "luma na po. at saka, sapatos lang yan." i swear, if i were pinocchio, my nose would have grown a foot longer.

he then indicated that he'd be willing to wait some more but after a couple of minutes, standing in the corner stopped appealing to hm and he suggested again that we go for it. i agreed. then he said, "iha, yung sapatos mo, mababasa. ako na lang kukuha ng kotse. dito ka na lang. daanan kita."

i was left with no words. i simply nodded.

this partner (together with the others) pays for my salary. he taught me everything i know about taxation law. he made me appreciate taxation as a subject and inspired me to want to become a cpa-lawyer myself. he is the reason why i said yes to work here, why i left my comfortable job in Baker for a while, and why i'm working for peanuts. and he offers to walk to the car by himself, cross a flooded intersection, and pick me up simply so that my shoes would not get wet.

wow.

and if this isn't enough to earn my undying loyalty, nothing else will.

100 Things To Be Happy About

eight hundred bucks salary differential from when i was still a retainer.
an unplanned lunch with a good friend
... especially if good friend decides to order gambas which happens to be one of your ultimate favorites
... and decides, at the end of lunch, to pay for everything, including your meal!
surprise checks which will allow you to buy yet another suit for work
free tickets to west side story ... especially since every time you'd pass by the billboard at edsa you tell yourself that you'll find a way to watch it
honorariums without withholding tax
secrets :)
being assigned to a case you secretly hoped you'd be assigned to
sm megamall and everything that goes with it
knowing you've passed by krispy kreme every single working day for the last two months and you've yet to yield to the temptation of buying half a dozen donuts for yourself
having your own tiny little office where you can hide out
finishing your first ever Financial Statements in Philippines ...
... and signing that pleading!
having a tita mayu :) (everyone should have a cool aunt who feeds you like any mom would but shares your secrets like a good friend, supports your luho like a grandparent, and covers your back like a sibling)
unlitxt80 ...
... and friends with globe phones :)
waking up to a LOT of messages on your phone ...
... and answering them one by one.
phone-oke with your best friend
... who doesn't mind if you have your own version of "narda"
theme songs :)
rainy days
trying on jeans you haven't worn in a while cause they've gotten a bit tight and realizing that they now fit way better than they did a couple of months ago
benny, benny, benny
free tissue at work!
clothes you like at 70% off
lunch at o'boy (4th floor West Tower, PSE Centre)
not caring how much gas costs and bringing car to work to make the commute easier
the kids at tuloy sa don bosco
special mention: christian caroro (i swear it's wrong but he's really my ultra favorite kid!)
mass with lingkod people ... ibang level yung high.
rltc '08
new friends
saturday nights with the girls
explaining something then seeing that exact moment that the other person gets exactly what you're trying to say
no saturday work
the lovely new buses that ply the mia route :)
P55 shuttle to atc - makes having relationships at alabang easy!
cheap stuff at sm
cheap stuff anywhere!
12 noon or 8pm mass at PCJ
thursday kaberks
jojet (my tuloy kid) memorizing the multiplication table
junjun (my other tuloy kid) breaking into a big smile upon realizing that i wasn't absent and would be there to tutor him
friends who don't mind taking me home
jollibee spaghetti
mcdo drive thru
sarsi light
vacation at cabanatuan
removing something from your to-do list
my work :)
that feeling after a confession
bacon, bacon, and more bacon
creative ideas
when it's raining and you're at home with absolutely nothing to do except watch dvds
long, long phone conversations late into the night and ending the wee hours of the morning
long, long conversations ... standing in parking lot, then moving into the car, then realizing it's raining crazy outside already!
cheetos twisted puffs
gourmet tuyo
champorado
tuyo + champorado + bacon + fried rice = surprise send off party
banners
handwritten notes
postcards :)
post its in all shapes and sizes
smileys
YM conversations
driving
ruins @ bf
hair that dries in place
freshly sharpened pencils
answered prayers
sleeping
deleting people who hurt you from your life
balikbayan boxes
mama and papa
mama and papa finally buying the mini-tiny farm
the prospect of a US vacation
fresh towels and sheets
hotel rooms
hotel buffet breakfasts
paper -- all kinds of paper
lovely planners
colored pens
the internet!
pink hello kitty keyboard
leaving your office dirty and coming back to find everything neatly piled on your desk
new shoes
resisting the urge to buy a bag
matching luggage
swivel chairs
phones with lots of buttons
parties!
project runway
reality tv (yes, i know, i watch crap on tv)
pictures
finding the perfect case to support an argument
getting home after a long long long day at work
you (and me) finally getting to the end of this list

Be Happy :)

...because you have found new friends

...because it only cost PHP 18.00 to be with the people you love

...because i can make chismis with colleagues in supposedly working hours =P

...because prettiness runs in the blood 

...because my little one's find joy in simple things

...just because

Let's Call this a (Good) Day!

Sometime during the height of my crisis, I resolved to take things one day at a time. I haven’t been successful at keeping this resolve all the time but on days that I am, I’m able  to see the difference it makes.

Today is one good day.

We have a new president, to start with. not really actually, because the then president moved to the higher tier which is chairman. You may say all you want about M,s perceived incompetence but as far as I’m concerned, he’s the only person among the present crop around the office who can restore our hope for righteous governance. And in my book, that is an accomplishment in itself. Which is why I’m really glad that he accepted the challege. I’ve always believed that since i first met him, that what my company needs right now is someone who can rally us towards an honest management, without a doubt, is the right- in fact the only- man for the job.

On the personal front, today is a good day because I spent early lunch with a dear friend and ended up feeling good about myself and my life in general. That’s a welcome change considering what I’ve been through lately. This friend is older and more mature and has had the benefit of seeing God’s work in her life. Which is why every time she says that God really has a beautiful plan for each of us, you just have to believe her. After spending four hours with her today discussing my life and my little tragedies, I think I became a believer once more. It’s sad that she’s leaving for good in a few days. Before we parted, she promised me that the next time we have a heart-to-heart talk, I’ll be raving about what God has done and how true it is that He has a beautiful plan for me all along. She told me to mark this day as the day things will start to turn in my favor. And again, because she’s the one talking, you just have to believe it.

And so it was one good day for me. Tomorrow is another day and I don’t know if it will be better or worse. But for now, I shall bask on the joys of this one.

Happy Birthday ...uhmm day"?

it's crazy how many important people in my life celebrate their birthday today.

okay, it's just four, plus a high school classmate. but still. how often do you have four people close enough to you that you actually know their birthdays celebrate their birthday on the same date?

me - just 20 of march.

first. tito lito - the husband of my beloved tita may, parents of Malk. tito lito is the coolest guy i have. tito lito picked us up from batangas that summer my parents were both away, and we were too bored in batangas already. tita mayu's house (or actually, lola terry's house) was (and still is) cool. it had a bathtub and when i was a kid, a bathtub was the next best thing to a swimming pool.

tito lito woke up early four sundays of the board to bring me to la salle. it didn't matter that i wasn't his kid, nor that i wasn't even a blood relative. and it didn't matter that i'm not even tita mayu's niece, just a malayong kamag-anak. he was there to make sure i didn't panic, that i got to the gates when i wanted to get there (he wasn't like "agahan natin" or "masyadong maaga"), and that i didn't have a thing to worry about except getting the answers correct.

tito lito is a fabulous husband and a sweet father and, to me, the coolest uncle. and if i have a choice, i'd want someone like him too. he's just that great, and i am blessed i get to call him my "adoptive father".

second. dek is my "guardian brother". i call him gb. it began when he kept telling me stuff: eat breakfast. eat lunch. drink lots of water. stop texting while driving. and, while i'd generally be irritated with someone as "involved" as he was, he did it in the nicest way possible that i couldn't help but appreciate all the things he'd do for me. i'm lucky i met him - he was so taray, i was so friendly that he just had no choice but to be friends with me too. hehehe.

thanks for the gentle reminders, the pictures, the text messages and phone calls, and always, always being my gb. promise, i'll bring you to s&r and make you libre pizza.

third. anto is my super shopping buddy. the first day we met, i already got to drag her to buy a cellphone with me. and that was just day one. thousands of pesos later, we're closer than ever. she's a sabado girl, the person who learns stuff last cause i'm "scared" of her. she's my kunsensiya, almost like, if i can't tell anto about this, then i shouldn't be doing it at all.

anto has seen me happy and sad, first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening, laughing and crying, sober and drunk ... and things are still the same between us. i just don't expect her to say "i love you" ... except she did, on my birthday, cause i've been bugging her about it already.

and, last, alex. enchanted kingdom. anything cheese. and that purple (violet? blue?) sando on top of a white shirt. galing kumanta, okay sumayaw, walang kwenta mag-park (joke!). i can't even remember now how you and i became friends, but thanks for the memories we shared when you were still here ... sana madagdagan pa!

i don't know if any of the foregoing people, except alex maybe, will get to read this post. still, it doesn't hurt to write all those stuff down. just so that they'll know they count. a lot.

To The Dearest Person

we interrupt regular (translation: shallow and narcissistic ramblings) in this blog with me remembering one of my closest guy friends, chio.

chio passed away unexpectedly on 3 march 2004. i skipped work that day since i got home late from my birthday dinner the night before and was rudely awakened by a text message from him.

prior to that eventful day, he had surprised me with a text message on 24 february, telling me he was home from jeddah, and asked me if we could meet up. i was on a bus bound for baguio for an audit assignment; there was no way i could go back to manila at 9 in the evening. i told him that he could either take a bus bound for baguio and follow me or we could meet when i get back. he opted for the latter.

when i got back, though, he was somewhere -- ilocos or something like that. he told me he was okay. the day before my birthday, he sent a great number of text messages, once more frantically asking if we could meet up. i was on my way to a date, i told him, and tried to set up a meeting on the third instead. he told me, he would be flying back on that day. maybe tomorrow, he offered.

i didn't hear a peep from him on my birthday. or if i did, it was a perfunctory happy birthday text message. nothing like what i've come to expect from the person who'd drive all the way to school on tuesdays just to hang out, or the person who played chess with me notwithstanding my non-existent skills. certainly this wasn't the same person who did everything in his power to revive a friendship i tried killing just cause i was uber-pissed with him over something crazy shallow.

so back to 3 march. it was around 6:30 a.m. he was texting me stuff that forced me to wake up and text furiously back. "let's meet, now!" i told him. he assured me he was on his way to taal, and that his sister was on the back seat, sleeping. he told me he was on his way home. he told me he was going to be fine. we must've exchanged billions of texts that morning. his last message: i'm home now. thanks for everything.

i didn't realize that when he used the word "home", he meant a home not on this dimension.

a little more than six hours later, i got a call that changed my life: chio, my best bud, was gone.

to this day, no one really knows what happened. the girl refused to talk about it, and fed us the line that they were fine. chio's last instruction to his sister (in an email he apparently sent before they left for taal) was to take care of the girl. chio's last words were posted on his blog, in a post i read after i was informed by his sister that he was already gone. the post basically said the same thing -- it wasn't her fault, it was his fault cause he was too weak.

i can't imagine him weak. he was my confidante, my big brother and my baby brother rolled into one. he was someone who knew me inside out. once, he loved me so much till i said no, and once i loved him till he said no. at the end of the day, we realized we were better off as friends, although we had a running joke that no one would be better for him than me, and no one would be better for me than him.

seven years later, i still don't think i can forgive the girl who caused him so much pain and misery. in my most evil moments, i wish that she'd continue to suffer guilt each and every single day of her life. i stumbled onto her blog once, reading how she coped after he left, except that the posts stopped after a bit. maybe she moved on, i wish she didn't though.

i pray that chio got to ask for forgiveness before he left this world, and i pray that chio is in a better place now. in good times, i imagine chio riding around heaven in that blue green toyota corolla that's coding on tuesdays, driving to heaven's version of ilang-ilang residence hall, waiting for the time when we could bond once more over inane movies, flat tops, and ghosts.

happy birthday co piscean! you are really missed :((

Plans and Dreams and Hopes

Is it possible to love someone you've never met? A little boy that I've loved since I first read his story on The New York Times died last week.
I have loved Ronan since that sad evening I learned that he had Tay-Sachs, a fatal genetic disorder, an incurable disease. His mommy, Emily Rapp, said she didn't expect Ronan to reach his third birthday. True enough, Ronan died aged 2 years and 11 months. He's just a few months younger than Clara than. Maybe that's why I'm so affected.


So I put away Emily's blog for a while while having Ibarra inside, rose above my grief of losing him later on, went about my life, enjoyed my Clara, ended my career at baker, began a new one, but Ronan stayed with me. In very many ways, Emily and Ronan's story changed how I parent.

Many parents ask me what our plans are for Clara—where will she go to school, have we checked out preschools, have we bought education plans, what do we want her to be when she grow up. Do we feed her organic food, are we enrolling her in music classes, dance classes, gym classes. When I just smile and say, "Oh, I don't really think about those things," a lot of the parents are dismayed at me. I guess, because of this blog, I have inadvertently built this image that I am a parent who wants nothing but the very best for her children, and for me to say that I don't really think—and therefore don't really care—about those things destroys that image.

I am a mommy who does want the best for my little one. But I have learned from Ronan's life and from Chio's death that there is only one thing certain—that the future ends in death and I must love the people in my life today, while they are still here, while I am still here.

I don't plan too far ahead. I think it's a waste of energy. My plans for my child involve only what they will eat for their next meal, if they'll go to the playground, if they'll take a bath. So if the plan was to eat squash but she suddenly decided she wanted nuggets, then nuggets it is. I spoil my child silly because I always have this terrible thought that this will not last forever. Happily, Malk and Prinze (the volunteering fathers) doesn't have my baggage. So they are the the normal parent—they would insists on a routine, he piles the grocery cart with yogurt and bananas for the kid, he checks the developmental milestones, he does Papa Preschool, he mulls over good schools, he saves for the rainy day, he dreams, he plans, he hopes. I am grateful my Clara have her Ninongs

I do nurture dreams, but they are dreams that my child will grow up to be wonderful person, happy with her choices, whatever they may be. I tell Malk, "I only have one dream actually, that I will like my kid and that they will like me." Yes. I love her, sure, but I also want to like her when she grow up. For example, I know my parents loved me but they didn't really like me—I was way too different from what they thought a daughter, a woman, would be. They didn't understand me, and you can't like what you can't understand. But they loved me, and that's all that really matters.

My hopes are only concrete in this: I hope desperately that Clara will be safe and healthy. I am very specific when I pray: "Protect her. Keep her safe from harm. Make her invisible to evil. Don't let accidents and sicknesses touch her body." Then I launch into a long list of what I hope God will protect her from: open windows, slippery floors, table corners and edges, the bath water, sick kids on the playground, accidents brought on by their exploring, impatience of her yaya and even her  mommy (heheh), and so on. Other than that rather specific list, I have learned to let go of every other hope. My dreams for my Clara is vague. My plans are only for the here and now, and the plan is to love her every moment.

So I'm a strange mother that way. Maybe some of you think I'm a bad mother that way. But my Clara is happy and healthy. She like shouting with joy. The days are always reverberating with exuberant shrieks. She is always tumbling all over, each other of us together, laughing. And her happiness and health is enough to convince me I am a good mother. For now. I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow.


* * * * * * *
Good-bye, dear Ronan. Thank you for teaching me to love my one.

Learning Once Again

I was in UB four days last week for MCPE (mandatory continuing professional education). All general practitioners are required to sit thru classes on all the latest legal updates every three years. It's just like going back to  school all over again, minus the exams and recitations.

It's also an occasion to run into people from school, work, and the legal circle generally. My take-away from these latest random reunions: most people basically stay the same; it's the rare few who undergo any drastic transformation. They dress and act the same, and if they're the type to manically take down notes and never fail to raise their hands to ask questions in school - they're still exactly the same in MCPE.

I myself have stayed like I was as a student: I tune in only to the classes that interest me. I remember at the last MCPE I liked the class of Atty Mamalateo on forensic audit. This time, it was the two sessions of Atty. Harry Roque on international law and oral arguments before the Supreme Court. I've been in awe of this guy even before I met him. I read recently that he is representing the family of Nicole (the New Year stray bullet victim), and it struck me: that is the kind of lawyer I should aspire to be, to take on a worthy case and actually do something to help out rather than just reading about it in the news. I wish I had that luxury, but sadly my hands are full as they are with my day job alone. There's always the future, tho, when the kids are grown and I won't have to worry about saving up.

Atty. Sulit reminded me a lot of Prof. Rey Ty in Taxation Law. They are both very confident about their subjects, very passionate when they speak, and they also share the same acerbic humor. I guess it's easy enough to be knowledgeable, but to be funny while at it is something innate and not learned.

The rest of the time I worked thru my BlackBerry, emailed Ate, texted friends, read this new book I got, The Dictionary of Love, and forwarded to Randy all the new hilarious words I learned. I even managed to squeeze in a few power naps. Hahaha. Yes, it is possible to sleep thru these things. My favorite MCLE moment actually involved this big guy who shamelessly snored his way thru the whole morning class, waking up only at lunch break, and again bringing the house down in the afternoon when he loudly sleep-talked. Hahaha. That was three years ago.

This time, the funniest thing to happen was this exchange among my seatmates, a group of guys who are probably 10 years or so older than me.

Guy 1: So anong panganay mo, girl or boy?
Guy 2: Twins. Nauna lumabas yung girl.
Guy 1: Wow, twins! Ang galing ah! Identical ba sila?
Guy 2: Girl and boy nga e.


HAHAHA. Yes, these people are Board passers. Otherwise, they wouldn't be taking MCPE. What a riot.


My MWC friends also came over so we could all have lunch at Talahib House. Rice+barbecue+salted egg+inihaw na talong+bagoong+leche flan = one of the best lunches you can have in UB.


It was great to be back in UB again.

UP There

UP Dilliman

UP on a weekend

I never dwelled on the 'what ifs,' but I did ask myself once "What if I made it to UP?"

 

Not so long ago, I went to the University of the Philippines (UP), the bastion of great minds and dreams, not to get an education, but to kill time. I would have wanted to study there, but taking UPCAT was not a priority at that time, so I ended up some place equally excellent, I would say. :-) 

In my high school, when I asked people how to get to UP, the response I would get was take the UPCAT; now in my  adulthood, the answer differs: I was told to get a PHILCOA jeep, then take another jeep, IKOT. If lost, ask. I made it to UP by commute to admire its greenery, the campus, the invisible yet palpable presence of greatness. I have the greatest admiration for people of who have burned the midnight oil to be among the UP alumni.

But the UP of my dreams has been in the news lately, not for its outstanding achievements but for the death of one of its students. 

There is nothing more I can contribute to issue that has already been discussed in every platform known. However, I do share the sentiment of many on the avoidable loss of life of a promising scholar. May she be the last of those who died because institutions and policies and other external forces drive them to take their own lives.

I was once a teacher who failed students, but only did unreluctantly so for 'deserving' students. What I was not very comfortable doing was handing them a notice of non-payment or partial payment of tuition fees which the Accounting Office released weeks before the exam. So, instead of calling out their names in class, I just discreetly leave the notice on their desks. My own three-year grade school experience in a private school reminded me that I should not let my students experience what I had experienced. 

I transferred to government schools when I reached second grade, and I am forever grateful for this transfer. I was exposed to life. At some point I was in a rowdy class of sixty; we were contented with manila paper for our visual aids; the old books which were issued to us at the start of the year served their purpose until school year ended; the simple classmates I had, whose parents were ordinary folks, taught me the value of humility and simplicity. I could go on detailing the education I gained from my grade school to graduate school in government education institutions.  But, then, it appears now that not all students in government schools are as fortunate as me. 

Through The Fire

Some weeks, I don’t seem to do anything else but put out fires. Last time I checked, I studied to be an accountant, not a firefighter.

What I learned from the latest scorching:

1. That there is no limit to what some people are capable of doing if you prove to be too pesky for them.

2. That the easy way out is hardly ever the best way, especially if it chips off your dignity in the process.

3. That a box of Lindt truffles and a couple of hugs (even the electronic kind) from loved ones go a long way in easing your dramas.

4. That ‘principle’ is not an archaic word and still counts for something.

5. That if something feels wrong, don’t do it. Even if it secretly scares the hell out of you, don’t do it. Even if it means going up against Goliath, don’t do it.

6. That the fact that no one has ever done something before does not mean it cannot ever be done, if you’re bold and stubborn enough.

7. That sometimes, when people say they will watch over you, they will actually do it – over and over, without fail.

8. That if you believe you’re in the right, stand your ground, and with a little help from good friends - you are capable of scoring epic wins.

Some weeks, when all you intend to do is put out fires, you end up igniting a full-fledged conflagration, hopefully bright enough to blaze a trail and light up the way for all the dark days ahead.

No Plan

We don’t really plan our lives. That’s one thing I learned in my 30 (just turned last month) years of existence. What we do is aspire for things, events and people, and align our actions with those aspirations. If we’re lucky, we get what we want. If we’re not, then we move on to the next aspiration and go through the same cycle all over again.

I learned this the hard way. When I was in my early 20s, I thought all I had to do to get everything I wanted was to neatly plan my life. Some plans panned out. Some— actually, the major ones—did not. And that was how I learned that I can only plan so much.
I know a lot of people will disagree with me. I know a few who would probably say that they are where they are now precisely because of their plans. Well if that’s the case, then good for you.   Good for you if because of your strategic plans, you are exactly in that place you imagined you would be years ago. That can either mean that your plans were perfectly aligned with external events, or that they were not so aligned but you were too stubborn to adjust. I’m not saying that the latter is bad. Go for whatever works for you, right?

In my case, what has worked so far is the mindset that even as I plan, I should make room for the possibility that life will always happen the way it’s meant to happen. I didn’t really plan the life I have now. In my 20s, my plan was to make it big as a partner in Audit Firm. In the midst, when it became clear that I wasn’t happy doing audit, I entered into life of overeseas worker and let my career take  a backseat professionally as I served studied a Masteral Course. My plan then was to spend my life in the Judicial aspect of Accounting. But when the expression of my spirituality began to change, I felt the need to leave that community and become more contemplative. Career wise, I decided it was time to specialize so I planned on going to graduate school. Just as I was doing that, however, i got pregnant  and required a full change of attention. After that, I was just so tired to make further plans that I decided to simply let life happen.

After that, several things— all not according to my plan— have happened. I’ve changed jobs, done consultancy work, fallen in love, lost weight and gained it back, resigned, negotiated for a better offer, turned down a job and reconsidered—all in a span of one and a half years, and all without me planning any of it.

Some might argue that this is not the way to live. Maybe on certain days, I will agree with them.  Most days, however, I  still  think that my plans are just that: Plans. And until God puts His stamp of approval on them, I’m really better off just letting life happen according to His will. My life is not perfect, but I’m content. I’m not overly ecstatic, but I’m joyful. And as long as there’s God in your life and joy in your heart, what else is there to aspire for?

Accountant In Silver Shoes

yesterday i bought new shoes. call it the result of putting up on sale 25 pairs of shoes from your collection. all of a sudden, my shoe closet seemed so empty and in dire need of something to perk it up.

enter lovely silver shoes with silver balls and black grossgrain ribbon. factor in the fact that i saw them last saturday in alabang but they didn't have it in my size. add to that the fact that i saw them yesterday in megamall. think of a long, hard, difficult day writing a complicated pleading. now, wouldn't you also agree i deserve a new pair of shoes?

now, being the impatient person i am, i absoluted had to wear them today.

and so i did.

except that i forgot that one of the partners is taking me with him to a client meeting at two. i asked him yesterday if i should wear a suit and he said my normal clothes are fine. i just hope this also means that my sort of normal silver shoes with tiny silver balls are fine.

i sent a text message to my friends earlier asking if they'd trust a partner wearing silver shoes. my favorite reply came from rashel who said something like (i hate myself for clearing my inbox on my way to work) "well at least i know i can trust her fashion advice too."

well, i'll know later if my shiny shoes make the mark. for now, i'll just satisfy myself with the thought that no matter how tough a day i have ahead, my feet, at least, have begun celebrating the taxation days

Crepes and Lighthouses

I'm not a big fan of crepes, but I LOVE Cafe Breton's butter and sugar crepe. It's the simplest item on the menu, and for me, the best. It was Rhoel who showed this to me.

I've tried Cafe Breton in Ayala Technohub once before with an external

counsel. I liked that it was wooden everything - from the floor to the tables and counters. I love wood - it's so warm and country. They also put fresh yellow mums on the tables. It was only when I had a date there with Ches, tho, that I noticed all the lighthouse beauties in the resto.

Lighthouses lined the shelves together with other country decor.

Framed drawings of lighthouses adorned the walls.

Lighthouse fixtures everywhere.

The star of all this lighthouse show is this huge painting spanning two walls, of the wide open sea and a lighthouse in the corner. Fantastic.

I have just found My Favorite Crepe Place In The City.