T-G-I-S!

What I love most about Sundays aside from the fact that I don’t have to wake up really early is that I have more time to pray. Every Sunday morning, I take my time reading the gospel and the psalms for the day and unhurriedly meditate on them without being aware of the time. Sometimes I don’t even meditate at all. I just keep quiet and sit still as I feel the presence of God. ( You read it right, a feisty soul like mine do also pray)

Today was extraordinarily special. Maybe the tiring and emotionally exhausting week I just had made me look forward to this weekend more than I usually do. When I woke up this morning, all I could pray was a heartfelt thank you. Thank you that I made it through the week. Thank you that I didn’t allow my emotions to get the better of me. Thank you that the week was productive. And thank you that the answer I have been waiting for has come. And even though that answer means I should be making plans this early, I still have to say thank you because despite the uncertainties, I’m unbelievably at peace.

And then I realized as I was saying those prayers of thanksgiving that my faith these days is at an all time high. I can’t explain why. I just know that God has plans for me far beyond what I can see. And when I read the psalm for today, I grew in my conviction. ” But I trust in the Lord; my time is in thy hand.”

I used to have this obsessive  need to see the entire picture. Now, I just pray for enough light for the step I’m on. Maybe it’s my age, or my past experiences, or these two things combined that I am now able to just sit and enjoy the journey. Someone famous (I forgot who) once said that life is what happens when you’re planning something else. If I may twist that a little, life is what happens while I’m too busy to make plans. Come to think of it, none of the things that have happened to me since my father died was part of my plan. In fact, I think I resolved back then not to make plans anymore because I was just too tired to do so. Ironically, it was upon making that resolve that significant things started to happen. And because I didn’t plan them, it is easier to see God’s hand in everything.

It’s wonderful to be at my age and, with the benefit of hindsight, be able to look back and say with much faith that as stated in the psalms, my time is in God’s hands. There is no reason not trust him.