Twing Umuulan At Kapiling Ka

i was in high school, i don't think the eraserheads version was out yet, but my group and i were set to go to the beach to film our project on "heat". and of course, as with all high school "romances", i was in the same group as my crush.

so we were all in shorts, all set to talk about how hot it was and all that when the rain poured like God was dumping a bucketful for water down the earth. we had to revise our script, scamper around in flimsy umbrellas, and figure out how we would pass physics with our non-heat video but all i could think of was how the song "tuwing umuulan at kapiling ka" would be crazy perfect for the situation.

fast forward to yesterday and my 30-year-old self is still in love with the rain and the thought of how romantic it is when your heart is happy and the rain is pouring outside. the rain might mean wet shoes and wet feet (i hate wet shoes and feet) and dripping umbrellas and bulky jackets but it also means fuzzy pajamas, staying beneath warm blankets and daydreaming of what it would be like when the day finally comes that i could sing "tuwing umuulan at kapiling ka" and get a kiss from you at the end of it, off-key voice notwithstanding. ;)

The Ides of July

It’s been a crazy month for me, both professionally and personally. I won’t go into details except to say that i’ve been going after a dream while another dream is going after me and I seem to be running away from it. It’s one of those times when you’re excited and scared in equal parts, and your default position is to doubt your self and why you’re doing the things you’re doing in the first place.

I’m obviously babbling here.

Anyway, my point is, it hasn’t been an easy month for me but I’m getting by. I’m trying not to be too excited, or jaded, or happy, or depressed. In short, I’m trying not to feel anything at all. Life has sent a few surprises my way, like an old friend named Rabbi suddenly keeping in touch again ( wooohoo! I’ve missed you,Rabbi! Please don’t disappear on me again. Haha!); discovering this wordpress app which makes blogging anywhere possible ( I will finally get to maximize the use of this gadget, thank God!); and discovering that there’s still a good part of my heart that believes in love and a good part of my brain that doesn’t counter it.

I still love my life. And maybe when this month is over, I will go back to loving it more. 

Dahil Sa PAg-Ibig

Here is one of few songs you know you could have written yourself because of the feeling being real.

Dahil Sa Pag-Ibig
Jericho Rosales 2012

Buhay pa ang alaala
bukas pa ang sugat
Bitbit ang bigat sa puso
Kahit saan Mapadpad

Tumakbo sa kawalan
Nagsumbong sa kalangitan
Nawalan ng pangalan
Pinalit ay katanungan

Magpalaya ng dahil sa pagibig
Lumaya Ng dahil sa pagibig
Pagibig na iilaw sa araw na madilim
Pagibig na pupuno sa iyong balong malalim

Dahil sa Pagibig

Sindihan mo ang mitsa ng pagibig
Na sisiklab at tutuyo ng luha
Pagibig na huhugas sa sakit
Na nakatakip sa iyong mga mata

Ibuhos mo ang pagibig
Pukawin mo ang hapdi
Lumaya ka sa ugat ng sugat
Lumaya ka Alipin ng galit

Magpalaya ng dahil sa pagibig
Lumaya.. Dahil Sa Pagibig

Marela Day

Sometimes people can be too nice to you for no apparent reason that it makes you wonder whether they know something you don’t, like maybe your husband is having an affair, or you were adopted or something. Haha.

Last week Malen emailed me as usual, but this time she waxed sentimental about how she wishes I was in the Italy with her throughout all four seasons, bcoz she knows just how much I’m going to enjoy the change in nature, and scenery, and everything. (And the fashion, Malen! You forgot how I’m going to so enjoy the change in fashion every season! Hahaha.) And she said she realizes this is not possible for now bcoz I can’t leave my kids and my job, so she just counts her blessings and is grateful that we can visit her one season at a time. That was a lovely email from Malen. On top of everything, she’s also so sweet to me and my little ones.

And then this couple whom I love gave me bakkwa from Singapore. I have tremendous respect and admiration for this couple bcoz they are both so successful and yet so warm, nurturing, and down-to-earth. If I could choose my parents in my next life, it will probably be them. .

After the food came a hand-woven, pure silk scarf made by Cambodian artisans, from another person. It came in the perfect shade of muted pink, too. It’s exquisite and completely unexpected. This person said it was a thank you for my being ‘a jewel’, and an apology for not having enough time chatting with and protecting me. Owww. I cried and cried.

The following day I got a huge bottle of Lanvin perfume from yet another person. Wow, it was like Christmas all of a sudden! The giver told me it was in appreciation for my willingness to stick my neck out in thorny situations, and for having brains, to boot. Oooh, I have brains – that’s a relief to know. Hahaha. Always the character, this person.

I don’t know who it was who declared last week Love MarelaWeek, but whoever you are, and to the above people who received and complied with the memo – thank you =)

(Photo credit goes to Jewel. Oh, the lovely Cape Cod hydrangeas!)