Feng Shoe

I’m so happy with Babette’s pasalubong from LA. She gave me this little picture book on shoes, purportedly written by ‘foot philosopher Lao Shu’, that even comes with a bookmark at the tip of which dangles a fabulous, golden high heel.




I went insane with Lao Shu’s quotable quotes:



1. Without the right shoe, nothing is possible.



2. White is to be used in a dress shoe only when the planets are aligned correctly and the seasons are just right – in June for a wedding, and only if you’re the bride.



3. If you find yourself wearing red shoes, you are highly likely, almost certain, to have a good day – or night.



4. Don’t wear plaid shoes - unless they’re Burberry plaid.



5. Don’t buy plastic shoe storage apartments. They’re ugly and unnatural. Don’t insult your shoes by using them.



6. Mixing shoes while storing is bad feng shoe. So, store six different styles of shoe in six different rooms. On second thought, you’d better move into a bigger house and buy more shoes.



7. The most auspicious days to shop for shoes are those days that end in ‘y’.



8. Before shoe shopping, calm yourself by meditating in the center of your shoe storage room. Chanting is optional. Possible chant: “I saw … them first … BITCH”.



9. Since feet swell as the day wears on, it’s best to shop in the late afternoon or early evening. This has the added bonus of giving you an excellent reason to leave work early.



10. You will know the right shoe when you put in on. Your feet will immediately bond with the shoes. Peace and happiness will reside in your soul. You will intuitively understand that you and the shoes have become one.



11. The higher the heel of the shoe, the closer you are to heaven’s gate.



12. Happiness starts within your sole.



(In addition to Feng Shoe, Babette also gave me this journal fit for a 'reform school girl'. It's so wild. I love it.)