Excuses! Excuses!

I’ve been in my new job for a week now, and if you think this blog is about how my first week went, well, you’re wrong.

It’s not that there’s nothing to blog about regarding my new job. On the contrary, I’m overwhelmed (in a good way) with all the events of the past week. And as my friends know, whenever I’m overwhelmed whether in a good or a bad way, I have this insurmountable urge to share it with him. So yes, my wonderful friends who still care to visit this mushy blog, this post is yet again about him.

I want to tell him the kind of work that I do now, the new challenges and responsibilities that I have, the kind of people I now work with, this case that I’ve been losing sleep on the past nights, my nice office, the mind blowing meetings I’ve attended, and the many times I had to remind myself (the way he would) to take it easy and just enjoy my new life.

My bestfriend— the very same person who advised that I move on— told me during our last session that as I take on a new job, I should be prepared to embrace all the new things that come with it. And in order not to be overwhelmed, he advised that I always go back to my Constant. He was of course referring to God. But in my mind, as he said that, I was also thinking of the one person whose comfort I’ve sought through all the difficult times of the past years.

I know that this whole business of moving on is long overdue. But I always manage to come up with excuses to hold on. When I was overcoming a major disappointment three years ago, I used that as an excuse to see him often so that I could rant about life and hear him pacify me. When I was discerning about this job, I used that as an excuse to seek his guidance. And now— now that my life is finally working and things are finally looking up— I know I’m bound to use this again as an excuse to see him. Just because I want to.

So I guess a persevering heart will always find a way. Whether that’s right or wrong is an issue I’ll resolve some other time.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox said, “There is no destiny, no chance, no fate that can change, hinder or circumvent the firm resolve of  a determined soul.”

Even just for today, I so want to believe that.