The Case of Being Single

Basically, i am person who cant be swayed by majority with what is the fad or the famous opinion. Unknowingly, i always end up on the minority side and being judge most of the time because were obviously not part of the norms and we our own set of rules. Its always been the case resulting me to be typecast as snobbish and mean. The friends I had were the people who made their effort to know what is beyond the "malditang anyo". To be fair, maldita nga ako in the sense that i fear nobody. I say what i want to whoever i want to be addressed. I do whatever i want to do whenever i believed it is the best time to do. Ganun ako ka stubborn. Pwde nyong tanungin ang nanay at mga boss ko.

In 2007, i had to cut short of my stint in Singapore giving way to my pregnancy. Actually, i just went home with a 6 month baby inside my tummy and i didnt explain anything, i can be that bad, i know. Unfortunately, the baby died. And with all the insensitive people roaming around, i can hear them talking about why the father never turned up. There was guessing game of why the baby died, what happened between me and the baby's dad, and were confused whether they pity or blaming me.

I remain silent. Owing the truth to no one.

After 2 years, had to go back again to give birth. Funny how things have been just repeating right? Luckily, inspite Clara being premature - she survived. But the rumors never stopped there. When they saw a cutee baby being flawless and fair, guess they thought she was a daughter of a foreigner. And when my ex comes to visit us, guess they changed thinking Archie fathered her. These were few of the cases where i just have to keep calm, breath and not mind them.

I remember that when we planned the baptismal, the church official told my mom they cannot accommodate us since the parents were not married. Being the "malditang ako" i went there and asked where on earth they got such law. they explained that they encouraged people to be under the matrimony of wedding. Easily, i did not bother to tell them my story. I just told them, that maybe i need to start searching for another religion. And so, guess they christened Clara upon hearing that :) Who says i need a lawyer?

I have experience a lot of discrimination, only because i am a single mom. Whats the problem with those people? I feel that they should be proud of persons like me who are brave to face the consequences of our own actions. Rearing a child all alone isnt a joke, so why burden us with all your unsolicited and unfair judgment? Aren't you should be thankful, that at the height of my career i chose to give life, not even entertaining the word "A"....walking on the life of uncertainties.

And why do i have to be under such ordeal? And why not? I don't owe them the answer, much more the explanation how i chose those decisions i had in my life. My only concern is to raise my daughter, give her a life she deserve and teach her to survive in this world.

Maybe, I owe her ther truth, but then it's a different story all together.

I never vie for the best mom in the world, to be a mom is good enough.