discernments

I woke up this morning, deciding between going to work or avail of Medical Leave Entitlement. I have been feeling weak since Monday morning and today is the third day of my dilemmna. After much valuation of the pros and cons, I just decided to go, considering that I have few cheques to sign and that Starbucks Boss scheduled a mini-meeting wif me today. Other than that, I can have my own time and space on my cubicle...resting or surfing the net.

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Yesterday, I had a heated (well) argument with Rocky Boy. It is about him always suggesting how i should have change. The stubborn me said "people should love me as i am" so where does the call for change coming from? i felt he didnt exactly lives by that belief...before culminating the nights see his messages :)





so discernment between keeping him as a friend or not = solved!
he is forgiven. as always.
discernment about should i change or stay as i am = resolved!
i wont.

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I can consider my stage now as the threshold of life. feeling all the gravity that life has to offer for pulling me down. on career, family and lovelife - i am all facing decision making. And it calls for Big Time One!!!

I sometimes envy those who opted to traverse the ordinary path of life. Study, work, get married, care the children...and wait for the husband to obligely give the much awaited monthly salary.

But I opted the path less taken. the adventurous me i supposed.

I opted or I was destined to it - is not clear.

But then, i dont whin (ok sometimes!), i rarely complain (but rare for me can be very often..hahah). One friend of mine, pointed out one time that i am having these tests since God trusted my guts soooo much. Then iy send quiver, cant sleep that very night. Could it be true? God trust me? Thats sad (if what she's telling is true), it means i really have to dealt with misfortunes

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Im the person who will not really sit down, think and when times say up...will decide. I am a person who just let myself be thrown into situation, with a little courage that i can get by and that God will help me go through whatever pain. I just cry at times. Crying is my therapy. I find crying as my ultimate cleansing agent - for my wounded heart and soul.

So, discernement = silent times. alone moments.
Discerment requires a trusting heart to God.
Discernment is wishing to the stars that all are part of the plan.
Discenment is not for me.
God's will it is

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As to what food to eat for lunch...well,,,hmm i still have 52 minutes to decide =)