Green Light

We called her that behind her back bcoz every guy for her is a go go go. We tried to understand and not judge her. Our heart bled for her bcoz she had a dysfunctional family, if you could even call it that. If we thought we had problems, we only had to think of her to put things into perspective. So we just tried to be good friends for her and did whatever we could to help her.

Mostly she managed pretty well on her own. She had low points, she would disappear from us for months on end, but she has been a survivor since childhood and somehow we know she will always find a way to get by. Last we saw her a couple of months ago, she was at her peak, raising her healthy and good-looking kids and rising up the corporate ladder. So we thought the past was all behind her, that she was well on her way to a much better life.

But then we find out that she was still at it all along, still at her wild ways, and even at work, too. Despite the kids, despite the good pay, despite the comfortable life. So now she’s in trouble again. And somehow we’re just not buying it anymore, her old excuse for every single problem she’s ever had in her life. You can have a crap childhood and barely a semblance of a family, but once you turn 18, you’re in charge of your own life, right? At some point you’ve got to stop blaming your childhood and family and start being responsible for yourself. And if you’re given all these chances to make it better, then your luck has definitely turned – don’t blow it anymore.

She’s pretty, she’s smart, she’s earning well, she has great kids. Why does she have to do these things still? For the attention? The dangerous living? We had thought she’d be over this kind of behavior in her 20s, especially considering she started so young. There may have been some point in our childhood when we thought it was cool to be so wild, when we felt painfully dull compared to her, but that was probably just a teenie weenie point, and the rest of the time we were not fooled. The rest of the time we were just grateful to be boring rather than damaged.

So again we sympathize with her and counsel her the best way we know how. But deep down we are also sad for ourselves, that after all these years, when we thought we’ve all grown up and become stronger, wiser persons – she could still break our hearts like this, big time