flashback

If I could go back in time and re-live some episodes of my life, I’d go back to the times when…
… I was seven and the only thing people asked me was what I want to be when I grow up, as opposed to now when I get asked all sorts of legal questions, half of which I don’t even want to answer.
… I believed that every thing was possible if only I try harder, as opposed to now when I think that the harder I try, the more elusive my dreams become.
… all it took to make me happy was for my favorite PBA team to win a championship, as opposed to now that the burden of decision are on my hands.
… I can eat what I want and not feel guilty, as opposed to now that the mere thought of buying ice cream consumes me with guilt.
… I cry only because of a movie, as opposed to now that I cry for a host of other reasons, or sometimes, for no reason at all.
… it was still cute to be a hopeless romantic, as opposed to now that being romantic means being hopeless.
… fights with friends were settled easily, as opposed to now where fights could really mean the end of a friendship.
… going to the library simply meant waiting for my crush to appear, as opposed to now when going to the library means looking for a precedent that does not exist.
… I had to wait for the DJ to play my favorite song, or for a particular day to watch my favorite show, as opposed to now when I can listen and watch anytime I want, so there’s nothing more to anticipate.
… financial planning meant budgeting my allowance for one week, as opposed to now when it means being pressured to have substantial savings and investments and learning how to maintain them.
… a broken heart was something that could heal in a few days, as opposed to now when any sort of healing is followed by an even worse relapse.
… getting good grades meant I did something right, as opposed to now when doing something right doesn’t translate to anything good anymore.
… when imagining the future meant looking forward to better days, as opposed to now when imagining the future means not knowing if it will be better.
… an angst-filled sentimental post such as this was age appropriate, as opposed to now when it sounds like another alcohol-induced rambling.
Believe me, the most melodramatic blogs are written on Thursday afternoon when your not busy at work and nothing to do but stare at my monitors (1 desktop, 1 company laptop, and my personal 1 ) . I should keep myself busy. Seriously.