too foolish to be a fool

They claim that basically we know the result or consequences of our actions. Foolish as we are we still continue to do things that we don't like the outcome.

Alam naman natin na nakakataba ang pagkain ng madami pero masarap kumain and then we get stuck and complain with the effects of fats in our body.

Alam na naman na natin na kailangan dumaan sa foot bridge para mas safe sa pedestrians when crossing the highway, specifically EDSA, still makikipag patintero tayo sa mga busses and cars na humaharurot sa EDSA. Gusto pa natin na nasisigawan tayo ng driver. Tapos parang tayo pa ang galit. Galit kasi napahiya sa maling ginawa.

And the cycle continues... I have to admit that because I got used to just facing the situations I am in, I tend to scrutinize every step and situation that I am placed to.

There are so many things that we already know the truth deep in our heart. But what if we are so full of the situation in front of us. That we fail to know, fail to feel, fail to evaluate until we realize that I was so foolish. I wanted it so much that I thought it was already this one. only to find out.... hindi pala yun. I was just excited to have the ball. I thought it was he ball. I liked the idea that I thought it was the ball. That I totally forgot that what I was holding was not the a real ball. It's shaped like a ball. Bounces like a ball. But it's shallow. There is nothing in it. It's a balloon.

Masyado na ako sa metaphors.

I just had to let it out.
If not i would really explode.
The sad part about it is that I don't know how to let go of my balloon. I've hold on so much to my balloon that I have forgotten to enjoy the party. The baloon might explode and someone might get hurt. The last thing i want is for someone to get hurt. In the process of trying to protect the balloon. I have forgotten the reason why I attended the party. It wasn't to get a balloon. I wanted to be with the celebrant. The balloon blocked my way. I wasn't able to move forward.

Do I blame the balloon? No I can't. It was my choice. I didn't see the consequences beyond the beauty of my flambouyant balloon.

But it can get so tiring. Walking and running around carrying a balloon. I've been taking care of my balloon that I neglected to feed myself, taste the cake, join the games, simply have fun and be myself. Iwas not able to do all those things as i have been paying more attention on my baloon.

How foolish right?!

But that's the fact. In the middle of having the balloon. Getting tired of having to carry it around... I stopped and looked at the whole party.... Then moments of reality faces me... Now what? What happened?

I thought my balloon was my ball. In the process of convincing myself that this is a ball have made me tired and sad. in the end...i learned the truth... ouchhh...pero yun ang totoo...
Unless, its okay for the balloon, to take out the helium para di lumipad ng malayo. Unless okay lang sa balloon na itatali ko muna siya sa isang chair and I will be sure to be back.
Di ko kasi alam... Akala ko alam ko...the truth is i know...though i dont like to believe in it..